Also it annoys me when people treat those who believe in aliens as wackos, both mathematically and logically it’s more rational and sensible to believe in aliens than to believe we’re alone
you should NEVER BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT YOUR LAUGH like of all the things that you should not be embarrassed about that is maybe the biggest. that is your happy making sound. i hope it sounds like a crazy donkey. you are beautiful.
That’s rape culture. This is what environments that assume sex is unambiguously a good thing do. Saying, “It’s consensual sex that’s good” doesn’t actually fix the problem. It just creates a situation where you must be consenting to sex, because if you aren’t, you’re not having enough sex and then you’re “sex-negative”.
See, it only fixes a problem where you’re like, “Well I don’t really want to do this right now”. It does not do anything at all to help people who find sex painful. It does nothing at all to help a person who doesn’t want sex, but thinks they do because it’s been so heavily normativized they have to have sex, and have to have it in this specific way. All the, “But make sure it’s consensual!” thing does is tells the person, “Well maybe if you don’t want sex this time it’s okay, but remember you still must be having it some of the time!”
See, to actually fight rape culture you need to say “Sex is always optional. You are never obligated to have sex.” You must always be concerned with consent, and that means you must accept that the answer may very well always be no, despite the fact there’s this belief sex is the greatest thing ever.
And if someone never wants sex, then sex can’t really be a good thing to them, because it’s always unwanted.
Really like this. We need to find ways of transforming real sex positivity to promote choice in sex, not uncritically promote sex itself. (via swankivy)
This. All of this. (via elementalsight)
This is something that I really believe in and I dislike that “sex-positive” has such bad history and current problems as well. When I first learned about it, I really thought about it was focused on what this passage is describing, that it is okay to want sex and it is okay to not want sex. Hopefully, my followers know I am all for whatever a person is comfortable with.
Sex-positivity in my experience is highly consent focused, and many sex-positive activists have advocated for asexual people. lacigreen, the youtube star of sex+ (a sex-positive channel), has all sorts of videos on consent, asexuality, and all sorts of relationships. Sex-positivity is not advocating the “sex is good and is a part of healthy relationships.” It advocates being educated about all types of sexuality, realizing that they all can be healthy, and that the most important thing is that everyone involved in anything sexual is fully informed and consenting.